Dreaming with God Means...

Where to begin… where have I been?

L I V I N G. Truly!

My Instagram tells me it’s been 767 days since I’ve posted anything. Wild, considering life has given me plenty to say. So, what makes today different?

The Lord led me here. I promise! Otherwise, I’d still be where I was, comfortably living away from the interwebs. I think after working with the Cowboys for so many years, tweeting and typing and posting all the updates, I was craving a break. So much of the world of social media that I saw, was about competing and pushing and broadcasting and grinding.

But when I stepped into that break, I stepped away from a gift of mine.

Let’s dive deeper.

Because so many good things were planted, watered, grown, and even bloomed over the last 2-3 years of my life. I’ve fully submerged into the joy of motherhood. (Side note – I received a college degree and graduated with honors based on my gift of writing and have been paid many dollars to do that very thing in my lifetime. Motherhood???? She’s the only thing I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully put into words. Which is astonishing and altogether humbling to me. Something such as this can only be regarded as sacred, amiright?)

And more from my social sabbatical. Developed a new little career for myself (I’m a social media manager for businesses – hello, work from home life you are indeed a blessing.) I’ve walked through hardship I can’t describe. I’ve stepped into my calling as a baseball mama, I’ve made incredible friends in Oklahoma and feel blessed by them, deeply. I’ve had countless kitchen clean ups, island chats with my husband late into the night, bedside prayers and rocking chair cuddles. I’ve had business meetings, hard conversations, incredible experiences with my children, traveled to Montana twice, watched my younger siblings walk in their calling and (ridiculously and loudly) cheered them on, wrote millions of pages in my journal, lost track of the NFL rushing leader (never thought there’d be a DAY) and become a much better cook. I’ve developed a new style, since I’m not an office gal anymore (boho fits and bright colors meets athletic streetwear. Let me live.) I’ve let my dark brown hair grow back in, to embrace who I am. I’ve wrestled with God, gone to all the appointments, cheered for my friends’ children, celebrated the successes of others, read some parenting books, bought countless band aids, berries, and peanut butter. Done more laundry than you’d ever imagine (as have all the moms). And at night, when my family is all sleeping tucked in their beds and the sky is a dark velvety black, I exhale and thank God for the undeserved gift of contentment, safety, and love inside the 4 walls my husband and I call our home. These really are the days.

A few days ago I really experienced a shakeup in my routine. I told God immediately. Right here at this barstool. I felt a part of me needed reviving.

I said, “I’ve created a job to use my creativity. I’ve found so much contentment. I’m where you want us. I love being a mom. I’m at peace. I love my friends. I love the life my family is creating. But God, dreaming isn’t the same when it’s not with you. I miss dreaming with YOU.”

Because once you’ve dreamed with God, you know He takes you to a supernatural realm unlike anything you could ever experience on your own.

And He said back to my heart, “the light from a city on a hill cannot be hidden.”

His spirit spoke from Matthew 5: (starting with verse 4) “You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

As much as I’ve loved ‘logging off’ (more time with my kids, less time on the internet = immediate WIN), it’s 2023 and if I mean what I say and I want to use my gifts with God, I can’t run from the times.

This may be the thing. This may be the way. This may be a that light. My gift is writing and dreaming with God means collaborating with the Creator.

When I worked for the Cowboys in my early years, one of my directors spoke to us about something called ‘flow.’ He explained to use that we all have gifts in life, and when we are tapped into that gift, we subconsciously get into something called flow.

Here’s a little explanation: In positive psychology, a flow state, also known colloquially as being in the zone, is the mental state in which a person performing some activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by the complete absorption in what one does. Flow is the melting together of action and consciousness; the state of finding a balance between a skill and how challenging that task is. It requires a high level of concentration; however, it should be effortless.

He encouraged us to find out where our flow was. Walk in it. For NFL employees, was it producing a live show; All the colors, buttons, screams in a high stress environment? Was it found behind a camera? Was it seeing your shot before it ever happened and creating a masterpiece? Could it be managing the million things that go on in a single NFL DAY? We were sent out to discover where we found this flow state of mind and I’ll never forget knowing mine before I even went back to my desk. Writing. Writing is where I find peace. It’s where I feel connected to God. It’s where I feel His spirit speaking through me. I am a creative and entrepreneur through and through, and I’m hearing God say that his gifts are best used when it’s in collaboration with Him.

So, hi! I may be around more often. I can’t give you a concrete plan when I’m not the one leading.  If I know you, thank you for your friendship in my life; connection is everything. And whether I know you personally, or not, these words are for you. I am here because there’s a God that loves you and wants to know you. I’ve missed connecting with you in this way and I look forward to hearing from so many of you again.

Your job this week: Sit down on the corner of your table or island, pull up a chair, and when it gets really quiet. Say, “God, I want to dream with you. I understand that when we walk together, we will go places I’ve never gone. What does that look like? What have you instilled in me? Where do you want to go together?”

Now you tell me. What have I missed?